What To Do If You Know Someone Who Needs Help

Do you have a friend, co-worker, or family member that is in an abusive relationship?

Many people ask, “So why doesn’t she or he just leave”?

The question isn’t why doesn’t the victim leave; the question is, “Why does the partner abuse her”?

Some Reasons Victims Might Stay

  • See no way out
  • Being threatened
  • To protect the children
  • Religious, cultural or family beliefs would condemn him or her for not being a good spouse
  • Abuser is a community leader or authority figure
  • Nobody would believe him or her
  • Low self-esteem
  • Chances of injury or death due to domestic violence increase by 75% after a victim leaves
  • Financial considerations
  • Isolation from friends and family

What can you do?

  • Become educated about domestic violence
  • Recognize the signs
  • Reach out to anyone you feel may be a victim, show your support and concern
  • Listen and believe when someone talks about domestic violence
  • Provide a list of community resources to individuals seeking help
  • Encourage victims to use the resources to help themselves and their children
  • Make others aware of the magnitude of domestic violence

What can you say?

  • “I am concerned for you and your children.”
  • “You didn’t/don’t cause the violence.”
  • “You don’t deserve to be abused.”
  • “Abuse is not love.”
  • “You are not alone.”
  • “There are people you can talk to who know about domestic violence.”
  • “I am sorry this is happening to you.”
  • “You are brave to reach out for help.”
  • “I am proud of you for protecting yourself and your children.”
  • “Be proud of yourself.”

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